Are You Being Held Hostage By Stress? What Real Stress Relief Looks Like

What does it mean to be held hostage by stress?

My client, Sandee, is so worried about her 30-year-old daughter, who is going through a really bad break up. The fellow she had been seeing for years -- she thought they were a solid couple -- decided to go back to school and instead of asking her to move with him, he told her he thought it was time for them to take a break.

Sandee’s daughter won’t talk to her about what’s going on and Sandee can’t stop wondering how things went so wrong. She feels so helpless; and she can’t shake the tension headache and stomachache she’s been walking around with.

That’s being held hostage by stress.

Sandee’s solution back then?

She would have talked about what was going on with her girlfriends, gathering advice and continually mulling over what to do or say. She soothed her worry with food and a bit more wine, and she knows that’s not helping. Then, she’d decide that ‘enough is enough’ and get a mani-pedi to get her mind off things.

These short-term, self-care fixes gave Sandee the briefest respite.

She began to notice that the stress always did a U-turn and came roaring right back. And both the problem itself -- her daughter’s situation -- and the fact that she couldn’t shake the stress made her feel even more frustrated.

All this worry is creating stress in Sandee’s body. The stress is sticky. It grows inside and doesn’t go away after a night’s sleep, a hot bath, or a massage -- the usual self-care recommendations.

This built-up stress launches us into a state of fight and flight, which causes inflammation.

Inflammation, in turn, causes premature aging, pain, fatigue, high blood pressure, risk of developing autoimmune disease, chronic pain, weight gain, gut problems, heart disease, and cancer.

Today, after working together, Sandee is doing things differently.

As we worked together, Sandee discovered an arsenal of body-centered strategies that she incorporated into her life. And she started using these strategies to unravel the stress that built up in her body.

For example, she started addressing her belly issues by taking 10-minute breaks to practice a calming breath, which you can try, yourself, with the guided videos in this newsletter.

Getting rid of that bubbling tea kettle of stress made all the difference in Sandee’s life.

Instead of spending her energy worrying, she can take action. She sleeps better and eats healthier and has more “clean energy” available to listen to her daughter. She is able to put things into perspective -- both in her life and her daughter’s.

Sometimes, when your mind is tying you in knots, the only thing you can hear are those words and thoughts. Instead, Sandee has learned to shift her attention to her body, shake off the stress, and target the areas that need some love and attention.

Small practices and shifts like that helped Sandee feel much more in charge of her day to day life.

The larger and most important gift that she receives from this powerful stress-relief work, is a wide-open window on her life going forward. The vista, through that wide-open window, is Sandee, feeling strong, feeling alive, feeling vibrant, walking the path that she sees ahead.

We #FierceOver50 women like to be in charge of our own solutions.

Sandee didn’t have to make an appointment to go somewhere; she owns her own tools for stress relief -- and mostly they are free.

I share a lot of these stress-relief tools in my newsletters, so please hang around.

But I do have to say…

If you want to release the long-time stress that has been holding you hostage, I invite you to join my monthly membership program where I teach and you practice these tools in live, weekly zoom sessions.

(Plus, you also get access to a library full of additional practices, videos from our live sessions, and weekly stress-relief vitamins.)

And the best part? You can join us for only $47 dollars a month: much less than one hour-long massage!

If you would like to move from relying on a self-care band-aid to learning easy and accessible, but still deeply effective stress-relief tools, the Gathering is the place to do it.

Little by little, in the company of women just like you, we are changing our relationship to stress in our bodies.

I would love for you to join us!

​Click here to sign up for the #FierceOver50 Gathering​

P.S. Talk to a friend about whether stress is holding her hostage and invite her to sign up for the Gathering with you. This work is so much more fun with friends. And, the community we are building is making a real difference in our lives because we are learning to take care of ourselves in ways that wake us up and clear a path for our next steps.

​Here’s where you can sign up for this monthly, stress-relief membership, the #FierceOver50 Gathering​