Plan a Year of Growth, Not a Month of Short-Lived Resolutions

New growth springs forth from the dark and cold of winter.

Here we are on the last day of 2020. If you are like me, you are wondering how you can make 2021 better than 2020.

My first thought is, “Well, that’s not hard. Almost anything would be better than this.”

And tomorrow is the day of New Year’s Resolutions -- that sorry moment when we jot down all the things that will be different: what we will do, what we will say, what we will think and almost none of it comes to pass.

The ‘habit people’ have a heyday with the new year. I’ve been getting e-mails inviting me to sign up to create new habits for 2021 and change my life. Been there; done that. No thank you!

I have a different way of thinking about this year-end transition and I’d like to share it with you.

Native American traditions call this time period -- December and January -- the time of the North. We are in deep darkness. For most of us, our world is frozen and cold. It is a time of solitude, grief, and deep introspection. And this is true for any December and January, not just this year with the horrifying coronavirus and contentious elections.

But it is within this very darkness that seeds are indeed germinating:

They are beginning to slowly awaken. Within months, a thaw will come and tiny green sprouts will be pushing their way up through the slowly warming ground. Today’s short days and long nights are -- if we can understand it this way -- the time of new awakenings.

Instead of listing unreachable goals and unkeepable habits, we want to feel our feet on the ground and be present with ourselves to welcome and support this new growth.

When I talk to clients, students, and friends about what they want for their “over 50 years,” they frequently say they want to spend more time on “self-care.” But they are always doing things for others and taking care of what needs to be done.

When I ask them what their favorite self-care practices are, I get a variety of answers: quiet time to pull themselves together, a favorite yoga class, a massage, a mani-pedi, lunch with friends, a compelling novel or a really amazing movie.

And then… They sigh and tell me: “And I don’t even have time for these things.”

My dear, I’m afraid I have some tough love to offer you.

All of the self-care practices my clients list for me offer important moments in a well-lived life. But they do not contribute to the growth that will lift us out of the winter we currently face or the winter we live with in our #FierceOver50 souls.

New growth only emerges from the courage to face your deepest “why.”

What do you truly want in the second half of your life?

I’m not talking about clothes, nails, what you weigh, or even your health. I’m asking you to consider deeply where you want to go in your life.

Please take a few moments to breathe deeply and consider what this means for you and your life. And then -- here comes the tough love -- please ask yourself, “How are things going to change if nothing changes?”

The FierceOver50 Gathering provides you with the community and tools for a year of growth. Your shoulder didn’t freeze up yesterday. You have accumulated decades of stress. You have pain and worry that isn’t going to disappear with a month of mantras or affirmations.

The absolutely unique thing about the Gathering is that it focuses on the healing that can be done through your body, but it is not just another exercise program.

It’s true that I have designed a program that involves movement, breath, and self-massage. And we think of these strategies as ones which release tight muscles and relieve pain. And, on the most basic level, yes, you will be doing those things and that, in and of itself, might seem like a miracle to you.

So, so often, I have seen women stand against the wall, roll two balls up and down between their shoulder blades, and moan like the gates of heaven were opening. They feel the warm, delicious response that says, “Years of stress have just left my body.”

But there is SO much more that will happen for you:

📆The year of growth happens when you keep doing the short practices I have designed just a couple times a week and slowly you begin to realize that your upper back feels different than it did months before -- you can feel your body without stress and it is an entirely new feeling.

📆By this time, brain plasticity has begun to reshape your habitual patterns. Your thoughts and emotions have done a u-turn. Instead of holding onto stress, pain, and worry, your body and mind have found a new and very different way to live in the world.

📆When stress comes calling (and you know what that phone call sounds like for you!) you recognize it, you take a moment to call on your tools, and you respond from that part of you that stands up tall for yourself with feet firmly on the ground.

I encourage you to give yourself a year of growth in 2021.

The #FierceOver50 Gathering is $47 dollars a month for the life of your membership. I want you to give yourself a few months to really “get” this program, but if you decide to cancel, you can do it anytime because you are paying monthly.

You won’t want to cancel, though. Because here’s what you can expect from your first months inside the Gathering:

💥At first you’ll see how the short practices -- even if you do them two times a week -- will help you feel differently about your body.

💥You’ll slowly develop a new need for this deep sort of body care that goes so far beyond the traditional things we think of when we say, “self-care.”

💥And then that different feeling will grow, helping your whole self respond quite differently to life’s situations and your understanding and experience of them.

💥And, you’ll draw great strength from the community of women who meet at our Roundtable twice a month to experience body-centered meditation and talk about how they are “unlearning” their exhausted achiever habits.

This is the moment to take action and join us. Here’s the link: The #FierceOver50 Gathering

If your heart is feeling this, follow its wise advice. Go ahead and sign up. You won’t be sorry.

P.S. I will be so glad to spend 2021 with you, watching you grow as you learn how to take care of your body and your self. After you sign up, write and tell me what you hope will change in your body and life so that I can cheer you on: The #FierceOver50 Gathering.